Meryl and I went to her first marsupial birthday party today. Oh, sure, she's been to a human birthday party, but today was the day that Atlanta-born panda, Mei Lan, celebrated her first trip around the sun at our zoo. There was much ado.
The guest list included such dignitaries as Atlanta Mayor Shirley Franklin, Georgia's lieutenant governor, and various muckety mucks from Delta Airlines, the city of Chengdu in China and Zoo Atlanta.
To make a long story short, Meryl, who recently turned sixteen months old herself, started to break down shortly after we got to the event. To her defense, I must say the party's opening ceremonies were anything but kid friendly. I basically spent thirty minutes trying to hold a struggling baby while listening to some suits from far and wide drone on about Chinese-American relations, direct flights from Atlanta to China and whatnot.
To paraphrase it went something like this:
Mei Lan's parents came to us from China applause applause applause It is important that Atlanta maintain good relations with the Chinese applause applause applause The panda is a symbol of peace applause applause applause.
When the vice mayor of Chengdu finished speaking in his native Mandarin I thought it only polite to applaud for him as well. I was one of the few. Then his interpreter went up to the mic and translated into English what he had said. I forget her exact words but it was something about the research center and artificial insemination. I felt kinda dumb having applauded but hey, who doesn't like panda husbandry?
The line of vacant strollers outside the tent had led me to believe that taking one inside would be frowned upon. Again, I was in the minority with my assumption. For every stroller left outside there were three or four inside. Only, the strollers inside were occupied by sippy-cup wielding panda seekers, some of whom had already started to cry.
When I tired of trying to hold a baby that obviously didn't want to be held, I made a brief retreat outside in order to reclaim our stroller. Meryl refused to be strapped in, so I held one handle while she pushed the thing around in circles. This game entertained her for a few short minutes until she ran into an important looking Chinese guy in a designer suit and man purse. He quickly braced her so as not to let her fall backwards and then smiled at me. Meryl did not feel the love however and shrieked at him, I imagine, simply for being in her way. I said thank you in Chinese, one of the few expressions I know and whisked her and the stroller away.
Some kids and parents had made their way to a second tent where birthday cake was to be served. Meryl and I headed there but found the crowd to be too close-knit and not conducive to a now overly-tired baby with a bad case of stroller rage. So instead I let her push the stroller around the zoo.
I tried to point out a small-clawed otter but she paid it no mind. A kimodo dragon also proved to be no competition for pushing a stroller along the pavement. Not even an elephant phased her.
Then she fell. This is when all baby hell broke loose.
Meryl starts to get clumsy when she gets tired. When she falls this only aggravates the crankiness. After righting her and trying again to put her in the stroller I ended up just standing under the awning of the tiger exhibit and watched as she screamed. It wasn't her hurt scream either. It was just the scream she uses when she tries to get the attention of anyone around. We are still trying to decipher her toddler babble but I think in her blood curdling voice she was shouting something like everyone please look at my inept father!
Oh, the joys of parenthood.
I finally hog tied my kid into the stroller and quickly tried to find the exit. Never in my life have I wanted to leave a zoo faster than I did today. To add to my frustration, I could not find the way out for anything, so I just pushed a screaming baby through the serpentine maze we call the zoo while captive animal after captive animal retreated to their respective hidey holes to get away from the piercing noise. It was bad. I briefly pictured my daughter being raised by a nice leopard family.
The only thing that calmed Meryl down was the rhythm of street musicians outside the zoo in Grant Park. I briefly pictured my daughter being raised by a nice couple of bongo-playing Rastafareans.
I'm only joking.
They could have been Episcopalian for all I know.
When we encountered a man playing blues on the guitar Meryl stopped crying for a moment and looked up at him as though to say I feel your pain. When he finished one song I thanked him and explained that she too had been singing the blues ever since we left the zoo.
"I'll play a little somethin' nice for her," he said before strumming a few chords.
Meryl started crying again so I thanked the musician again and pushed Meryl quickly to the car. As I was strapping her into the seat I could still here him singing Summertime and the livin' is easy.
We never did see any panda, much less birthday cake.
Oh well.
Happy birthday, Mei Lan.
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