Thursday, October 26, 2006

Have a blessed day how?

I keep getting solicitations fom this local church inviting me to join them for some happening event they're sponsoring. Today's was a color flier advertising a revival with Pastor So & So and his family, all of whom are pictured on the color glossy in what I can only imagine is sadly their Sunday best. There are seven members all together, and while the boys look smashing enough in their basic blue button-ups and gold neckties, the two youngest girls look like they're modeling something their great-grandmother hand sewed for herself during the Great Depression and has since handed down through the generations. Looking at the advertisement I feel a little sorry for these girls. I mean Laura Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie donned nicer frocks than these.

According to the ad, Pastor So & So's family is very talented and is "sure to be a blessing." When I first pulled this thing out of the mailbox, I assumed they sang gospel music. They look like one of those families from the 70s that went around selling their music to various congregations and who's since been forgotten except for some obscure mention in a kitschy book on vintage album covers. Further investigation of the flier though reveals no hint as to what exactly their talent is. Do they breakdance? Do palm readings? Lipsync to Liza Minelli?

Are they The Aristocrats?

And what makes them a blessing? Or more generally, when someone says that someone or something is a blessing, what does that mean? Is this a regional saying? Do we only hear this in the southeast United States, the area commonly referred to as the Bible Belt, or have born-agains the world over begun to use this new catchphrase? And really, what exactly does it mean?

If there is one creator who can rightfully take credit for the Heavens and the earth, aren't all things therefore of equal benefaction? Or was there a lot of crap thrown in at the dawn of time also such that blessings are few and far between? Diamonds in the rough, so to speak?

What would this septet have to do in order to not merit being called a blessing? Sing off key? Miss a step? Fart the theme to Jaws? If the youngest member of the family (I'd say he looks to be about two and a half years old) were to suddenly do any of these things in the middle of their routine and someone in the Amen Corner said aloud Bless his heart could he then retain his blessing status? Or would the simple blasphemy of breaking wind in church cause him then to be labeled a curse instead of a blessing?

Likewise I don't understand the phrase Have a blessed day which is also something I hear periodically. What does it mean to have a blessed day? If you believe in blessings, is there ever a day that goes unblessed? If not, how could someone not have a blessed day. If indeed one can't avoid running into blessings throughout the day, telling him to have a blessed day is like telling him to have a 24-hour day.

I understand have a nice day really isn't any more descriptive, but I can safely say I've had days that weren't nice. Can someone who says Have a blessed day say they've had days that weren't blessed? Or maybe what they're implying is that they themselves have the power to bestow blessings on others so that when they say Have a blessed day it's kinda like saying Here, have five dollars.

I'm not knocking blessings or those that say Have a blessed day. I just don't think I fully understand it. Feel free to offer your explanations.


P.S. I just sneezed.

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